November 6, 2006

  • fulltime work, housewife and mom? you've got to be kidding. maybe if i'm not working at home?

    frankly, i won't be surprised if i get fired soon. i don't have any energy left for work. bleh. i'm not even sure if i should be scared witless with that thought or be relieved. if my manager cares, she must be confused by what happened to my performance. if, she cares.

    but does she? does anybody?

    does anybody care about things i care about -- aside from the obvious ones, of course? who knows?

    one thing i know - something i've thought of for some time now but kept pushing to the back of my mind because it's kind of a sad thought - if there is something i want, something i want done, i have to do it myself. no real help is coming. expecting people to help is good if, and only if, you're willing to risk disappointment.

    to those who think they care about me, get this: leave. me. alone. don't email, don't call. don't tell me i'm good, don't tell me i'm wonderful. that does not help. i know what i'm capable of, i know when i'm good. go on and live your life, i will live mine. don't patronize me. and don't bother me with your empty flattery. they only add insult to injury.

    yes,  i'm ranting, and it's so unlike me. so what? deal with it.